Thursday, September 06, 2007

Celebrity Moms....mostly bad parents to be.

So it is interesting to see who is expecting a baby with me. Some are downright annoying and you feel sorry for the unborn baby. Some I am genuinely happy for. Most don't even register as interesting. I thought I'd log a few for my interest alone. Although I know at least one of my readers has an unhealthy obsession like me in celebrity gossip. We can stop anytime. So let's start with the annoying ones.
Nicole Richie. Stopped doing crack for the press, I mean baby. I am still bugged with whichever Madden brother she is dating for dating her so soon after dumping Hilary Duff. I told you this was really important. I like my celebrities to have a nice cooling off period. Impregnating an anorexic coke whore is not cooling off. Sorry for the strong language. Hormones.
Halle Berry. Also unmarried. Much healthier, but still icky. I also roll my eyes at any actress having a first baby after 40. Nothing wrong with having babies at that age, don't misunderstand me. It's just convinient that once the sex-symbol thing starts to wear off they run for the nurseries. Ala Sharon Stone. Ugh. Don't get me started on her. Also Halle has an enormous bump for being "barely three months". Maybe it shows more if you don't have body fat.
Christina Aguilera. I can only imagine the tarty outfits she will conjure up during her time. At least she's married.

Those are the worst I suppose. Here are the rest.
Salma Hayek. Big as a house. That would be the meanest statement in the world, and one I will regret in seven months. Here's a little story. When she made the movie Fools Rush In she played a pregnant woman. And at the time I remember thinking that she was the most adorable pregnant woman ever. So it is refreshing to see that her "real" pregnancy is more of an equalizer. She is engaged to a billionaire. Good for her, I guess.
Milla Jovovitch. Models. Ugh. She was recently interviewed and photographed (nude) for a magazine. Her statements were all annoying and hopefully naive. All about her new curves and her healthy Russian arms etc... She looks just like she always has. Skii-iinny. Only she looks like she is arching her back. Ugh.
Linda Evangalista. She is 41 her boyfriend billionaire is 60. Remember when people were just millionaires? Ya. Me too. Another rich model. Ugh.
Charlotte Church. Is she old enough? Wasn't she 13 like yesterday?
Ali Landry. Another model/actress who will surely be lovely all nine months. She's the one that was married and annulled to Slater.
Paulina Rubio. Drea DeMatteo. Tameka Foster. Garcelle Beauvais Nilon. Noel Gallagher's girlfriend. Anthony Keidis' girlfriend. (He is 44 she is 20!) Samantha Morton. Helena Bonham Carter. Jill Hennessey. Constance Zimmer. Toni Collette. Kim Raver (Also too skinny). Thalia Mottola (Tommy is Mariah Carey's ex.) Jack White's wife Karen Elson (another model). Mark Ruffalo's wife. Brandon Flower's wife Tanya. Joey McIntyre's wife. Isla Fisher (cute) Elisabeth Hasselbeck (adorable).

Reported pregnant but probably not. Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes #2, and sadly Jenna Bush. Interesting. If you know of any others drop me a line. And if you don't know who most of those people are, then feel proud of yourself. You have not wasted weeks worth of time learning about people who will never really matter in your life, except to lower your self esteem.


Kirsten J said...

That's it. I have been herniating with giggles and comments as I just read the last three posts (actually I'm not even finished...I couldn't control myself). Let's get started with my comments:

"However, if Autumn is missing, you wouldn't be wrong to call me first." And then probably me second.

"Our PC gave up the Windows ghost and is now a linux limp along." Please publish a book. You are so funny. And also good luck with the external hard drive. That inspires me to do backup.

"I love the internet. It can make anyone feel normal." Story of my life.

"No one can keep a winning streak up that long." Yeah, between London and Tess and baby Allie, we're screwed. Which is why we will be eternal dinks/yups.

"I've accepted this and will be perfectly happy with my boring, plain-faced, blah looking kids." You mean your long, lean, leggy kids with the cheekbones?

"We can stop anytime." Exactly.

"I am still bugged with whichever Madden brother she is dating for dating her so soon after dumping Hilary Duff." I officially adore Hilary duff for being what LiLo could have been (classy and clean) and also for reminding me of my sister AllieRoo. HD makes crap movies and stuff but I love her anyway. I didn't care for NR much before, but now she really bugs. Oh, right, I can stop anytime.

I thought Milla Jojovich and Christa Evangelista were the same person for a second. Both have icy slavic countenances. Which makes them the same.

Ok. I'm off to follow your links.

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