...did they explode?

No they did not! (See last post.) Hooray! I bucked up and got dressed up to go out in the cold to retrieve the bag of beverages. I got there in the nick of time to find them firm but not solid. So ya- that truly must be what all of you have spent the last two days worrying about. I also got a nap before we headed to our prenatal class. Good thing too as it wasn't exactly a show stopper. A lot of common sense information, a lot of review of stuff we already knew and a lot of idiots asking either stupid questions ("There are no stupid questions." I completely disagree. There are plenty.) or questions about stuff the nurse JUST COVERED. But being the goody two shoes I have always been, I enjoyed answering the harder questions the teacher asked, even if just in my head. Ok, so most weren't really that hard. Or at least they shouldn't be. Did any of these people read their pregnancy books? Have they ever been around a pregnant person? Have they watched an episode of the Cosby show?

It reminded Clayton and I of our engagement. Before we got married everyone told us to read "Between Husband and Wife" by Lamb Brinley. Our sweet bishop even gave us a copy to read aloud together. So like good little troopers we did as asked. And laughed through most of it. I hope I'm not offending anyone who really liked that book. It was just a bit ridiculous. If you've taken even a Junior High level health class before, or have read a copy of Cosmo in the past ten years, then you really do not need to read this book. We felt bad for the couples who might have found it insightful.

So prenatal class is a bit like that. There was a lot of good information given, I just can't imagine getting to your 7th month or so, and not have picked up any of it yet. One good part was just the tour of the hospital. I hate not knowing where to go or what to do, so that put me at ease for the big event. We also enjoyed making fun of the other couples. Oh- by the way, we aren't good people. Sorry if you were under a misapprehension there. We didn't say anything to anyone but each other, but still. Very immature. The girls were all fine, it was just the annoying husbands who gained our disrespect. There was the Show Off, who apparently knows more about vaccines than the visiting pediatrician and more about episiotomies than the delivery nurse. The Idiot who kept embarrassing his wife with questions about how often things go wrong. The Front-Row-Joe who just would not shut up, and a few other characters.

Of course, then there's us. The two juveniles, who despite being a few years older than everyone in the class, could not stop giggling. Not over body parts or functions, no. Just our own amusements. However, anyone who might of heard us laughing wouldn't know the difference. So we probably looked like morons. Oh well. One thing that kept us giggling? Deciding early on that we could earn treats by saying certain inappropriate phrases aloud. Which ones? I'll list them, so if you are ever in a class like this, you can avoid them.

Sweet!
Yowza
Gross!
That's what she said.
etc...etc...

Ya- very erudite. So all in all, nothing exploded. Not our drinks, nor our heads from the wealth of information we covered that day. Although watching the birthing videos could make you get close. The vignettes on Chris & Paula and Lourdes & Jonathan were a special treat. Why is it that any video on childbirth uses a national geographic (ie: Extra nude, and usually a bit on the un-photogenic side.) couple as it's focus? I think it's because if you are willing to have a camera crew follow you around, you are a little more "free" with everything else as well. Blech.

For the record, the only people allowed in our delivery room will be me, baby, Dr and maybe Clayton. He isn't even 100% sure he wants to be in there yet. He's not the best around needles and such. In which case my mom would be a discreet alternate. TLC's A Baby Story often shows delivery rooms packed full with father-in-laws, brothers and even neighbors hanging out, videotaping the action from the "wrong" end. Seriously! Ok, so my head did just explode a little.